"Moving Day"

     My parents are in the process of moving from Knoxville to Nashville.  To clarify, when I say "my parents" what I mean is that my dad is moving himself and my mother and when I say "in the process of moving" what I mean is that they bought their condo in February 2010 and have been living in it mostly furniture free since last June.  I can't even type that sentence withough sighing out loud. BUT, as of last week my dad has hired actual movers with a truck who are going to bring some of their stuff to Nashville very soon (and by "some of their stuff" what I mean is every single thing that my father can't live without - a lot of which falls into the category of "I have to bring it because they don't make this anymore.")  I have been trying to la-dee-da my way through this move which has required me to not comment on any number of things my dad says, but last night it all just got the best of me.  To be fair to my father, change is hard for him and while I know that change is hard for everybody,  my father could probably be classified as "gifted" in his inability to accept change.  Gifted.  That's a compliment, right?

     Anyway, yesterday he called me and he was listing all the things he was moving and when I stopped him mid-list and said "I thought you weren't moving the [big-ass thing you just listed]" and pointed out that there really wasn't room for it in the condo, he told me his solution was going to be to put it in the attic.  And that's what pushed me into the deep end of the crazy pool. To flesh out my frustration with his attic solution, it's important to understand "we can put it in the attic" seems to be his go-to answer for everything that may not fit inside the condo and I just want to go on record as saying that this is not a magic attic that can expand to hold an ever-growing list of items - this is a regular sized over-the-garage kind of attic that has a rickety ladder that pulls down from the ceiling so while it might be reasonable to store Christmas decorations or books or empty boxes in the attic it's probably not the best solution for large pieces of furniture. Of course, I couldn't say any of this to my dad.  What I said was "well, if it's that important to you, we'll see what we can do."  Then I hung up the phone and I cried. And here's the thing, I know this is hard for him and I know that he is doing the very best that he can do with this move but people, I am tapping into reserves of patience and understanding that I didn't even know I had which means I've been venting to Joel a lot. God Bless Joel (seriously). So, last night I was venting to Joel (again) at the dinner table about all of this when he stopped me and said "You know what this is don't you?  This is your very own Kobayashi Maru*." And I laughed out loud because I've been married to a nerd long enough to get all the Star Trek jokes and because his reference was absolutely perfectly on target.  Any attemp to engage with my dad on the specifics of this move (what to bring, where to put it, what to accept as a gift because he can't make the decision to part with it) is a no-win situation for me.  This is his move and I'm going to have to remind myself of that over and over and over again in the next few days. I also need to remember that the moving process is temporary and the fact that my parents are living in Nashville only five minutes from my house is a win-win situation for all of us.  It's good to have them here - we just have to get through this next week.  In order to help all of us do that I'm officially adopting  "Kobayashi Maru" as my new mantra. It's fun to chant, it makes me laugh and it will do wonders to lighten my mood.  I wonder if I have time to order a t-shirt.  

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The term Kobayashi Maru is used to describe a no-win scenario. It is a test in the fictional universe of Star Trek. It is a Starfleet training exercise designed to test the character of cadets in the command track at Starfleet Academy. The Kobayashi Maru test was first depicted in the opening scene of the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and also appears in the 2009 film Star Trek.