Still in the Closet

My 20th College Reunion is this weekend.  As of this moment I'm planning to attend.  I'm not my best self (and by "best self" I mean "not skinny") but in the spirit of embracing life and meeting challenges head on, I'm encouraging myself to just go with it - whatever "it" is.  In preparation for this momentous event,  I may (or may not) have done the following things in the last week.

• Googled "Make-up tips to make you look 10 years younger."  Realized that still makes me look "32".  Sigh.
• Decided not to buy anything new because I have lots of clothes hanging in my closet.
• Spent an hour in my closet. Confirmed I have nothing to wear.
• Took a trip to the mall.  Tried on "skinny jeans".  Tried on not so skinny jeans. Tried on skirts.
• Asked salesperson to show me their selection of slimming shoes.
• Returned home determined to wear something I already have.
• Found two pairs of college era jeans in the "never gettin' into these again" section of my closet. Felt wave of nostalgia for all things button-fly.
• Googled "dress up your yoga pants."
• Returned to my closet and realized I have approximately eleventy-million black sweater/dark jean outfit possibilities. Decide I hate every single black sweater I own.  Don't get me started on the jeans. Or the use of the word outfit. 
• Returned to mall in search of the perfect little black sweater. Purchased pink sweater - not for the reunion but because it was cute and on sale. 
• Googled "slimming scarves."
• Pondered whether or not November 1st is too late (really) to wear my favorite black linen skirt,
• Googled "slimming pearls."
• Returned to mall (again), determined to find "the perfect outfit." Fail.  
• Bought expensive "volumizing" shampoo - because BIG HAIR could be slimming.
• Hav[ing] an allergic reaction to expensive shampoo.  Hair has volume but I have hives. 
• Taking Benadryl.
• Remind myself I'm going to this reunion to see people, not to be seen. Laugh out loud.
• Remind myself I'm going to this reunion to see people, not to be seen. Try to believe it.

Now, what I am going to wear.  Sigh.