All's Quiet on the Western Front

      I returned home from an outing with Sarah G. this afternoon to find my oldest child lounging about rather listlessly on the couch.  Annoyed, I asked him why he was just laying around in the middle of the afternoon and strongly encouraged him to get up and do something productive.  He dragged himself up to his room and dug around in his legos for a few minutes before returning to the couch and quickly falling asleep.  The falling asleep, that's what got my attention.  This is a child who has never voluntarily napped - never ever - yet there he was sound asleep with his back to the television at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon.  When I walked over and felt his forehead  it was obvious he had a fever.  The thermometer confirmed he had a temperature of 102.5. I proceeded to violate my cardinal rule of parenting which is "Never wake a sleeping baby" and woke him up so I could dose him up with Advil.  Once he was awake, I asked him how he was feeling.  My main concern was whether or not his stomach was upset because while I can remain calm and collected through a wide variety of illnesses, a potential stomach bug in the house sends me spiraling out of control. (Because everyone knows that a stomach bug has GOT TO BE CONTAINED and the key to containing a stomach bug is to catch it early and quarantine the carrier poor little ailing bunny and then hit the entire house hard with Clorox wipes and Lysol. You've got to stay ahead of it if at all possible, that's what I'm saying.)  Owen assured me many many times (because I asked many many times) that his stomach felt fine and he also said (repeatedly) that he was dizzy and his head was hurting." When I asked how long he'd been feeling this way he said, "since I was out running errands with dad."  Interesting.  "So," I asked, "did you tell your dad that you were dizzy and that your head was hurting?"  He had, he assured me. "And what did your dad say?", I queried. "He said we had to get my hair cut before we could go home."

Happier Hair Days.

     When Joel walked in the door a few minutes later I greeted him with a thermometer that was flashing "102.5" because I'm subtle like that. "You're son has a fever," I told him.  "Did he tell you he wasn't feeling good when you were out running errands? Because he says he did."  Joel said Owen  mentioned something about his head hurting and being dizzy while they were out and about, but by the time they got home he was kind of quiet, and in Joel's words - "quiet can be a good thing sometimes."  And as a longtime parent I would have to concur with that statement, quiet can be a good thing - sometimes.  But then there are those other times, LIKE TODAY, when "quiet" can be something else entirely,  like a fever!

     In Joel's defense (because he did defend himself), he said he assumed Owen was just being quiet because he didn't like his haircut.  Have I mentioned the haircut?  Yeah, it did not go well. Joel and I had already exchanged a few text messages along the lines of  OMG WTH did you let the stylist do to Owen's beautiful hair?!?!? It's WAY too short! Joel's reply -

Yes Joel, he does look tough.  And fevered.  And shorn.  On the bright side, he can now shower in mere seconds and he'll finally be able to put his hat collection to good use.  But still, poor poor little bunny.