The Next Generation

Scene 1:

Driving home from a school function on Wednesday night.

Owen and Sarah are in the backseat.

Owen is reading and Sarah is bugging him.

(Sarah bugging her brother has nothing to do with the

dialogue below.  I only mention it so this record

of our lives is an accurate reflection of how things really are.) 

Owen: "Hey mom, I got this great Star Trek book from the library. 

It's about when Captain Kirk was a kid.

Me: "That sounds like a good book."

Owen: "I've already read some of it.

I bet you don't know where Captain Kirk was born?"

Me: "Iowa."

Owen: (Incredulous) "How did you know that!?!"

Me: "I've been married to your father for a long time."

SCENE 2:

Thursday night. Joel is folding laundry in the living room.

I'm cleaning up the kitchen.

It's 9:15 and Owen and Sarah are still not in bed.

Sarah says she can't go to bed because Owen's not in bed.

Owen's not in bed because he's telling Joel about the 

Star Trek book he's reading before heading upstairs (again).

Joel: "Hey wife, do you know what the "T"

in Captain Kirk's name stands for?

Me: "Tiberius."

Joel: "Very good, I'm impressed.

Do you know how many starships have been named Enterprise?"

Me: "More than two."

    I know that "more than two" is not the correct answer, but the children were still awake, so I couldn't say what I really wanted to say. What I'm wondering today is how is it that my life has morphed into a never ending Star Trek Pop Quiz?  I'm also wondering if there's an alternate timeline* a mirror universe out there in the vast unknown-ness of space where Joel is constantly being barraged with a series of random Jane Austen questions?

"Hey Joel, what's the name of Mr. Darcy's estate?"

"Who is Elizabeth Bennet's best friend?"

"How many sisters does Mr. Bingley have?"

*Joel, after reading this story, explained that when I said "alternate timeline" what I really should have said was "mirror universe."  He went on to explain that in a mirror universe everything is almost the same, but not quite.  For example, in a mirror universe the main characters might be sporting goatees because now they're bad guys.  Thanks for the help, sweetie. Also, is this seriously how "goatee" is spelled?  I thought it would be more French, like gaeuxtee.