Loaves and Fishes

I've spent most of today packing and cleaning and fretting and fussing because we're getting ready to take a trip.  We'd planned all week to go to church with my parents this evening but as two o'clock turned into three o'clock and then four o'clock I started plotting ways to stay home and not go to Mass because I just had too much to do.  But, with Joel's encouragement we loaded ourselves into the minivan and met my parents at St. Henry's where during tonight's Gospel reading I heard once again the story of the loaves and the fishes.  You know the story, Jesus spends the afternoon teaching a multitude of people on a hillside and as afternoon turns into evening the disciples begin to worry that maybe Jesus should send all those people into the surrounding villages so that they can get something to eat.  Instead, Jesus has the crowd of people sit down and asks his disciples to bring him whatever food they can find. They bring Jesus five loaves of bread and two fishes - not even enough to feed themselves much less 5000 men and their wives and children.  Somehow, Jesus takes what they have brought him and feeds all of those people and no one goes away hungry and when everyone has eaten, the leftovers fill twelve wicker baskets. 

Orange Beach 2010

     Again, I have heard this story all my life and I have always thought about it in terms of the multiplication of the food - that was the miracle.  Jesus fed a whole bunch of people with a couple of fish and a few loaves of bread which in and of itself is pretty amazing. But tonight, as the priest was reading this Gospel story I began to think about it from a more personal perspective.  What if I substituted "loaves and fishes" with "patience and understanding" or "energy and effort" or "love and attention."  Without stretching things too much, by the time we'd driven the short distance from St. Henry's to Pizza Perfect I'd had what I guess could be considered an epiphany. Namely, at the end of this day and week and summer where I've believed that I'm not enough - don't have enough - for my children, my husband, my parents, and everything else, I need to trust that my own set of metaphorical loaves and fishes is going to be sufficient.   I've also been reminded of something that I've lost sight of lately - sometimes the most important thing I can do is show up and listen and have faith in a power greater than myself.